Snakes, Bugs and Tornadoes

I'm beginning to yearn for the "good old days."  Back then, folks used to sit around the campfire, toast marshmallows and tell horror stories about crazed killers with hooks for hands or sing little diddies about an axe-wielding, daddy-whacking Lizzie Borden.

What we didn't do was gaze across the glowing coals, our faces illuminated by fear and fire, and tell scary stories about The Market. Back then, we occupied ourselves with real horror stories about truly awful stuff like snakes, bugs and tornadoes. I don't like talking about the mortgage meltdown, the economy or the housing crisis. In fact, I think I'm going to make it a rule that as soon as someone broaches "the big three," I'm going to counter with either a bug, snake or tornado story.  I expect the conversation will go something like this:

Fellow Broker: "This market is killing me. How's your business?"

Me: "I kicked over a rotten board today, and three baby copperheads wriggled across my foot."

Fellow Broker: "You're kidding me, right?"

Me: "It scared me so badly that I smacked into a tree and out flew 5000 waspers."

Fellow Broker "Good heavens! That's awful! What did you do?"

Me: "I jumped around, hollered and took off running. Luckily, a tornado dropped out of a massive purple thunderhead and swept me up like I was nothing. It carried me twelve miles before dropping me right in the middle of a framed out $250000 townhouse. As luck would have it, I happened to have a Buyer."

Fellow Broker: "Uh... that's great. Oops, would you look at the time? Gotta go..."

Ah, yes. Snakes, bugs and tornadoes. I can't think of a better way to turn a topic.

Can you? :)